the dreamaholic me ..........

my life has always been bizarre,or i have always urged it to be so.since my very childhood i cherished this notion of being the protagonist of a fairy-tale story ,whenever I was happy or sad i would take refuge in those fantastic dreams,sometimes i would imagine my house filled of numerous hidden doors and each door opening to a magical land.Sometimes i was the princess of those unseen worlds ,saving my countrymen from the clutches of an archaic beast.Everything was a story for me and when i was a kid i used to imagine myself as the princess of a magical world,falling in love with a sweet and loving prince and living happily ever after.Sadly for me ,i did not know then that the phrase 'ever after' could only be experienced in the dreams.As i grew up the day dreams started getting more and more sundry.Soon,i would start making stories in my head about evrything I saw,I would sit at my study table and disappear into the magical world,and my homework always took a backseat.I also had this habbit of analyzing my dreams every morning and I had barely heard of Freud,not to mention that my analysis was always more grotesque than the dream itself.

confessions of a confused mind

Well have you ever felt that sudden numbness in your tummy when someone asks you what do you want to do with your life,or that whether you have a proper plan for your future ? Especially if you are someone who's dreams and ambitions are as myriad as mine.I wanted to be a scientist when I was in 6th and remained faithful to that ambition of mine for three long years.me that I am about to be a graduate in a course of two months! My mind Then as I stepped into the threshold of youth the dream of being a scientist could not woo me for long.It's place was taken by more vibrant and glamorous choice as the likes of fashion designing.One thing that I really specialized in doing was day-dreaming.Soon ,I would have such ambitious day-dreams like putting up fashion shows in Paris and Milan.I had started getting a little too serious about this career option.I even appeared for the NIFT exam .Here I think mentioning the fact that Drawing is as alien to me as rocket science will be useful for you guys,so anyway I did not get through the entrance exam and for a while took painting lessons but soon got bored of it.That is when Cupid struck and I fell in love with Advertising and got committed enough to do my graduation in Media Science and I am still head over heels in love with it.So now to back to the basic question ,well recently I heard the same from none other than my no-nonsense dad.I replied by using such high-fi words as MBA,Marketing Management and started dreading the myriad form of cruel questions that were about to follow these seemingly promising and harmless names,well as expected he came back with all his vigor and asked me where do I see myself after 10 years..........I was lost in the world of Mercedes,Audis,BMWs,Pradas,Guccis and all sorts of miraculous names and then I realised that I had not answered him and his face by then had become the unfriendly shade of red.Now as you would have understood by now that I am certainly clueless of my future and would not be able to answer it even if it struck me between the eyes and friends has there ever been anyone other than Nostradamus who had this gift?How could I ,an ordinary girl in her early twenties dare to answer such an integral question?So,anyway I should have known better,that was not the time to introspect,my dad was waiting for an answer.I closed my eyes and said ,"Dad I want to be a copywriter ".............................................There was a pause of a good five minutes and my heartbeat was completely in sync with the clock.May be it was the confidence with which I spoke or the fact that I did not fumble when spoke,he seemed less disappointed than before.That was a winning moment for me and that is when I realized my heart's true calling.And that is when I realized that finding one's path is very akin to finding true love.Both takes time and is very difficult to find......

The trauma of a self-searching soul

The question of explaining my identity has been the most intriguing question that has plagued me forever .I am always tongue-tied whenever someone asks me this very question.So, now I have prepared myself to shun all my inhibitions and have devoted myself to the task of confronting myself.But the discovery of oneself is not that easy ,developing a strategy for it is very necessary or all your convictions that were transpired to you after some real hard thinking will go into oblivion and you will be left with the same inhibitions.So anyway coming back to where I was :my first agenda was to do an extensive research of myself,for which I had to put myself in some unthinkable situations -read going to strange places unaccmpanied,travelling in buses during the 'office time' -in Kolkata I feel that if you managed to come out of the infamously famous rickety old buses then you can do anything.After the completion of the first leg of my research I found out that I am a strong person especially when it comes to pushing my way around and a very good traveller and at the same time very bad with directions .Also,I have this penchant for fumbling the moment I am about to cross a handsome guy.So,I decided to continue my research ,armed now with these results,my next objective was to know how intelligent I am. I took all the conventional routes to analyze my IQ level and I concluded I could not be more intelligent than an average 5th grader because I could not even answer some of the 5th grade geography questions asked by my cousins.So,dissapointed yet resolute ,I tried judging my emotional quotient and I passed out with flying colours!I shed almost a bucket of tears after watching 3 Idiots,almost shed the same amount after my break-up.So after a period full of exhaustion,despair and a little hope I proved that I am a human being and I certainly behave like one!What a relief!